when an emotional moth goes to the movies

We are all moths,
drawn to the flame.
It wont burn this time (a hope)
Fuck - my tears seem to come from nowhere.
From a movie with 8 laughs per minute.
But this juice box now tastes bitter and the popcorn lacks nostalgia.
Not like I made it.
Sixteen and wearing a bowtie (accessories include a crush and an unfounded anger)
Now I use a scratchy napkin to hide my tears before the lights come up.
Hide that this break in my reality was in such desparate need that I'm weeping in row 7.
I leave a voice note for my friend but wish I could come over.
That we were neighbors and doors never had locks.
Sit on the couch and let her hold me.
I'm not sad
But feeling - it sneaks up on you sometimes.
Not a bad thing
but always a consuming thing
I'll be ok.
I've already ordered Mexican takeout and have a netflix subscription.
The end (it's ever-present)
There's nothing for it.
And hey -
I see a flame.
It's going to be the one.
I'm sure of it.



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